Title: Endearing Insults
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn
Rating: PG
Word Count: 506
Summary: Rachel rationalizes her way around Quinn's insults and decides Quinn has had a crush on her for a very long time.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but I do own this plot.
Author's Notes: Quinn isn't pregnant and is still in the Cheerios as head cheerleader. No spoilers unless Kurt's hand moisturizing routine counts.

The verbal insults that used to make Rachel cry herself to sleep at age 12 have only been continually recycled since their inception. There’s no originality in the slurs that get thrown at her anymore. The nicknames Quinn came up with for Rachel in middle school are still the same, released with the same bite, the same hissed rage.

She’s gotten so used to being called ‘RuPaul’, ‘Manhands’, and ‘Treasure Trail’ that she even finds them kind of endearing.

A girl simply being called a drag queen would likely sting the ego (though Rachel knows quite a few drag queens and they’re all rather talented and sincere men) but Quinn’s choice to call Rachel ‘RuPaul’ holds barely any sting at all. By Rachel’s standards, RuPaul is a widely acclaimed, talented, gorgeous man and woman when the mood strikes him. If Quinn had perhaps chosen the innocuous term ‘drag queen’ as a taunt Rachel would be less inclined to believe that Quinn, in calling her ‘RuPaul’, was backhandedly complimenting her on a regular basis.

Besides the fact that she’s a girl, there’s no possible way Rachel could be in possession of manly hands based on her stature and frame. She’s even compared her hands to the few boys that have befriended her and though her hands are quite similar to Kurt’s in touch and kept appearance (“I get a manicure every three days and moisturize with duck fat twice a day.” “Duck fat?” “Yes. It’s high in linoleic acid and helps reduce the risk of dermatitis.”), Finn and Puck have hands she could really only categorize as paws. Rachel has thusly rationalized that Quinn, while subjected to the paws of the male sex, would rather the touch of a more feminine hand but as head cheerleader of a nationally ranked team in small town Lima, Ohio needs to keep up a heterosexual appearance and therefore has taken to degrading the object of her desire to a level acceptable to her façade (Rachel thinks Quinn has had on a crush on her since 6th grade).

Rachel had to use Urban Dictionary to identify the term ‘treasure trail’ the first time the insult was thrown. The definition led Rachel to the astounding conclusion that Quinn Fabray, captain of the cheerleading squad, president of the celibacy club, good Christian girl Quinn Fabray, wanted to bed her and was announcing it to hallways and classrooms full of people multiple times a week (though clearly no one at McKinley High had reasoning skills above a 3rd grade level because Quinn was never chastised for openly albeit subtly declaring her lust for one of the school’s most tormented students).

Sure, the nicknames are up for interpretation but Rachel’s fairly certain that, while only 16 years old, her powers of deductive reasoning are much more developed than any of the students who carelessly recycle the blonde’s insults. Only Quinn Fabray knows their true meaning but Rachel’s smart enough to read between the lines.
Current Music: "transatlanticism" by death cab for cutie
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