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| Rachel: You guys have to come to the auditorium, it's an emergency. Jesse? What are you doing up there with them? Jesse: I've transferred back to Carmel High Rachel. I'm sorry that it's come to this but you guys were awful to me, you never accepted me, you never listened to my clearly superior ideas. Finn: Why are you here in our auditorium? Jesse: The blogs and chatrooms say that we're finished and you guys are ripe to topple us. We just wanted to show you a little something we came up with a few days ago to see if you agree with that assessment. |
"Come on guys, keep your heads up. It's gonna take more
than that to get us into a funk."
| Mr. Schue: Alright guys, today I want to talk to you about regrets. Who has some? Rachel: Giving my heart to Jesse just to have it crushed like that stage floor at a performance of Stomp. Quinn: Thinking 'Trust me' was a sensible birth control option. Mr. Schue: We all have them: I just finalized my divorce. I regret living in a relationship that wasn't working. Letting her put me in these deep funks and not fighting back. Santana: Besides creeping us out, why are you telling us this? Mr. Schue: Because if we lose to Vocal Adrenaline at Regionals none of us are gonna regret it. We will have given it our best shot and we won't look back, but we will regret letting them get the best of us before the competition. Which is why we need to hit them back just like they hit us. Quinn: So you want us to TP their choir room? |
| Mr. Schue: Funk. Use it in a sentence. Come on! Rachel? Rachel: This cheese smells funky. Puck: That's 'cause it's fromunda cheese. Rachel: SHUT IT, PUCKERMAN! ... Mr. Schue: Funk is soul meets anger, its passion is in its emotion and Vocal Adrenaline doesn't perform with any. You have your assignment. I want you guys to turn McKinley High into Funkytown. Mercedes: You guys can relax, I got this one covered. Mr. Schue: Cool. Quinn: Hold on a second. I want a chance to get funky too. Mercedes: Good one Quinn, it even sounds funny when you say it. Quinn: You said funk was about soul and anger. I have plenty of both, look at me, look at my life, I'm furious! Mercedes: Let's me honest, when white people try to be funky you end with with KC and the Sunshine Band. Artie: I love 'Boogie Shoes'. Mercedes: Mercedes, racism aside, I will have something prepared tomorrow. |
"I want him to be eaten by a lion."
| Quinn: For some of us, just simple getting to class takes a little bit longer. When you're pregnant you're responsible for two lives and you're walking down the hallway oppressed by the man. Mercedes: Oh my goodness she is not about to go there. Quinn: Hearing people call you fat, sometimes it hurts, sometimes you have to stop and hold that precious life and say no. Artie: This is offensive. Who are these girls? Quinn: We're the Unwed Mothership Connection and that's that we're here to sing about. |
You see, man made the cars to take us over the road
Man made the trains to carry heavy loads
Man made electric light to take us out of the dark
Man made the boat for the water, like Noah made the ark
Man thinks about a little baby girls and a baby boys
Man makes then happy 'cause man makes them toys
And after man has made everything, everything he can
You know that man makes money to buy from other man
This is a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl
| Mr. Schue: Santana? Are you alright? Kurt, what is going on around here? Kurt: Coach Sylvester won't get out of bed. We haven't had a practice in days. I'm fine because I have Glee but these girls have sort of lost it. No Nationals means four of the girls will lose their college scholarships and the rest are just depressed and confused. Brittany: Please help me? Please? Kurt: It's really hard to feel bad for Sue Sylvester, she doesn't need another trophy, but some of these girls, they really do. |
Vibrations good like Sunkist
Many wanna know who done this
Pucky Puck and I'm here to move you
Rhymes will groove you
And I'm here to prove to you
That we can party on the positive side
And pump positive vibes
| Quinn: Mercedes, I'm so sorry. Mercedes: You may not be a minority but you certainly get how it feels sometimes. Quinn: For 9 months, you've had to deal with this your whole life. People making assumptions, calling you names. I seriously can't understand why you don't feel like yelling at people all the time. Mercedes: What's the point in getting angry? Quinn: Because it's infuriating. I hate all the looks at school, don't even get me started on Puck's mom. Mercedes: You're not angry, you're hurt. You just need some place safe where you can dig through all that rage into the pain beneath it. So it's decided, Saturday you move out of Puck's house and you move in with me. I already talk to my mom about it. My brother went off to college and we have an extra room. Quinn: Mercedes. Mercedes: It's cool, us sisters gotta stick together right? |
| Rachel: Hello? Jesse: Meet me out in the parking lot. |
| VA Lead Bitch: I hear you're a vegan Berry, so those poor egg fetuses are all on your conscience now. Do it Jesse. Are you with us or not? Rachel: Do it. Break it like you broke my heart. Jesse: I loved you. |
| Rachel: And now I just keep having nightmares of all the mothers of the little baby chicks coming after me for revenge. Puck: Ugh, this is bull. Finn, Mike, Matt, come with me. Finn: Right on, it's time for less talking and more punching. Mr. Schue: What's going on? Finn: We're on our way to go all Braveheart on Vocal Adrenaline. Mr. Schue: Guys, violence is never the answer. Puck: Oh it is when the question is 'What's the best way to mess up that Jesse kid's face?' Kurt: Mr. Schue, Rachel's one of us. We're the only ones who get to humiliate her. Mr. Schue: Stop! Get back here and sit down. Look I know from experience that making someone else suffer doesn't make your pain go away. You're all amazing, no matter what Vocal Adrenaline says or does. We just need to find a way to remind ourselves of that. Finn: We can't just let Vocal Adrenaline get away with turning Rachel into an omelette. Mr. Schue: We're not. Rachel, dial Jesse's number in your phone. Santana: You haven't deleted is number yet? Mr. Schue: Jesse St. James? Will Schuester here, you and Vocal Adrenaline need to be in our auditorium, Friday, 3 sharp. |
I love that Santana never does anything related to work ever.
You've got a real type of thing going down, gettin' down
There's a whole lot of rhythm going round
Ow, we want the funk
Give up the funk
Ow, we need the funk
We gotta have that funk
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